Bonehead alert - is there some protocol for naming bikes?

Ok, so I've never been accused of being the sharpest tool in the shed, though I'm sometimes accused of being a "tool"... So, the other day, as I was coming into the house from doing something to my latest obsession (my '85 Maxim X), I said something about taking care of "Maxine." I know, the name isn't very clever, but I really haven't thought of a anything else, yet.

Anyway, my wife gives me a look, and before I know it, her feminist side rears up and she says, "Why don't you call it Max?" with a look in her eyes that says, "Go ahead, make my day!"

So, remember the part about me being a tool? I said something like "I don't know... Just doesn't seem right riding around with a guy between my legs."

Anyone who is married, probably just cringed at the thought of the reaction to a statement like that. Of course, the question being begged is, "Is it ok to think of riding around with a girl between my legs?" Of course, I hadn't thought that far ahead. That logic is way to complex for me. But, my wife was all over that, and, well... the conversation went downhill from there.

So, is there a protocol for naming bikes? If so, what would be a good name for mine? Any suggestions for a blue bike that ran for two months, then stubbornly refused to start, then thwarted my attempts to get it running for another four months, then finally roared after a valve adjustment, then coughed a bit, then kind of hollered, and now runs pretty good, but still needs some carb tuning?

Or, should I perhaps just take my wife to dinner and assure her that there is no other woman for me, and just hop on "Max" whenever I want a ride? Ugh!

 

Sounds like a Maxine to me.

 

call "her" max in front of her and maxine in front of your friends. My bike has a male name but its "Frankenbike" because of all the different parts that came from other bikes. Bikes, cars, and boats always have a female name, primarily because they're so temperamental, but I don't think that would be a wise thing to say to your wife, use at your own discretion.

 

Heres my suggestion. Take your wife out to dinner, and then take your girl for a ride. In that order. Think of it as a girl but just dont mention it to your wife.

 

Re: Bonehead alert - is there some protocol for naming bikes

8O Dood, NEVER tell your wife about the "other woman!" :lol:


Actually, this may be a good test of your husband skills. You need to be able to find time for your toys without making your wife feel neglected. Remember, rainy days are for shopping, sunny days are for riding. And listen to her on the name thing. It's a battle you will not win.

 

Re: Bonehead alert - is there some protocol for naming bikes

I call my bike Mary, which is my wife's name. That way I can just tell everyone how long and hard I rode her.

 

Alrighty, then... Sounds like the best advice at this point is to avoid EVER discussing it with SWMBO! LOL

 

My wife HATES "that bike" so I try to never mention her to her (and vice versa)
She does sound very tempermental (your bike)

 

Re: Bonehead alert - is there some protocol for naming bikes

My wife calls my bike Jezzabelle. She says that I spend so much time in the garage that there must be some kind of wild woman out there.

Let me let you in on a little SWMBO management tactic I learned long ago. The trick is to get her just mad enough to not speak to you, but not so mad that she starts to yell at you. Its a fine line and should only be attempted by an expert.

(just kidding you know)

 

Re: Bonehead alert - is there some protocol for naming bikes

If a man speaks in a forest and his wife isn't around to hear him, is he still wrong :roll: ???

skillet
BTW I guess either way you're in HOT WATER, but I would rather be caught with Maxine between my legs than Max ...

 

Re: Bonehead alert - is there some protocol for naming bikes

Sounds like someones wife has jealousy issues. I think she may need to chill for a bit. It's a dam bike, not a woman. Do we see who wears the pants there?

 

Just explain to her (over a nice dinner That bikes are like boats, you have to name "HER", like boats are always named female names

It's just the way it is lol.

 

Tell her to make you a sandwich while you go out and wash maxine because she's been a dirty nasty girl.

 

Jason I can't believe you did that. Let me know when you heal up and maybe we can go ride. From now on refer to it as the machine or the bike. She will forget but its going to take time.

Dave

 

No names! I think wives really don't like bikes (Mine doesn't).
She cannot understand why I ride the long way to and from work on it, why I wouldn't rather have a small car to go to work in,
why I'm really not bothered about getting wet
and she DEFINATELY doesn't know quite how fast it is!

 

I told my now wife before we were married, the bike was here first and it'll be here last as well.

And for some reason she still married me!

 

The name does not have to be a female.

My '80 XS11 Special is jet black, cold blooded and if you don't know you are doing, you're gonna get hurt... so it's name is Scorpion.

SWMBO's bike is an '82 XJ650 Maxim, and is small, by my comparison, but when I climb on the saddle and crack the throttle, man I better hold on. Listen to the words of the AC/DC song, "Whole Lotta Rosie" and I think you will understand why SWMBO calls her that.

Whole Lotta Rosie - AD/DC

Wanna tell you a story
'Bout a woman I know
Ah, come to lovin'
Ooh, she steals the show
She ain't exactly pretty
Ain't exactly small
Forty-two, thirty-nine, fifty-six
You could say she's got it all!

Never had a woman
Never had a woman like you

Doing all the things
Doing all the things you do

Ain't no fairy story
Ain't no skin and bone

But you give it all you got
Weighing in at nineteen stone

You're a whole lotta woman
A whole lotta woman
Whole lotta Rosie
Whole lotta Rosie
Whole lotta Rosie
And you're a whole lotta woman

Oh honey you can do it
Do it to me all night long

Only wanna turn
Only wanna turn me on

All through the night time
And right around the clock
Whooh! To my surprise, Rosie never stops
You are a whole lotta woman
Whole lotta woman
Whole lotta Rosie
Whole lotta Rosie
Whole lotta Rosie
A whole lotta woman
Ohh yeah

[Solo]

Oh, you're a whole lotta woman
Whole Lotta woman
Whole lotta Rosie
Whole lotta Rosie
You're a whole lotta Rosie
Whole lotta woman-man-man-man-man
Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Whole Lotta Rosie
Whole lotta woman
Oh, whole lotta woman

I'll bet you now have that tune running through your mind right now! It's got a great guitar riff too!

And finally, Kermit, my '98 Kawasaki Voyager 12. It's green, and has a peace frog sticker on the inside of the trunk. So it became Kermit the peace frog.

I think the bike's personality dictates the name. It can be a female name, but it doesn't have to be. I wonder if that is a leftover from the macho Harley D days?

 

I liked "Highway to Hell" best myself, but "Let there be rock" always sounds like the band walked into the studio, picked up the instruments and played. It's raw rock and roll.

PS How are Rosies electrics?

 

Funny thing is not too long ago, a referenced my bike as Maxine, and the wife nearly had a coniption, as in "who is Maxine?" Today, she asked me to leave. So, I guess now its just me and Maxine!!!

 

I just got mu wife a bike of her own...She can call her's what ever she wants and I can call mine wat ever I want. That way we can enjoy the rides together (she didn't like riding on the back). She still does not like to ride if it is cold.