Pardon me for a moment while I complain a little

I am the "owner" of a 1982 XJ750 Maxim. Her name is Miaka.

Oh, the amount of crap this bike has given me. I love her but some times I just want to kick her over on the ground and empty my Glock into her.

1) Bought her in December for $850. I knew nothing about bikes but she was the cheapest running example on Craigslist. I was a broke-ass graduate student and had no other option for wheels.

2) The first time I rode her around the neighborhood she caught fire. A large plug of dried leaves soaked with oil and gasoline was tucked against the engine and burst into flames with white choking smoke after the engine warmed up. That was fun.

3) It took me two weeks to get the dry-rotted tires off the bike because I couldn't get the front spindle off, as it had rusted solid to the speedo box.

4) I shattered the rear drum adjustment bolt in the threading trying to reassemble the bike.

5) The flasher relay was broken and I went through 3 replacements before I got it figured out.

6) The seat was reupholstered in black duct tape.

7) The battery connectors liked to vibrate themselves loose and kill the motor when I came to a stoplight on Peachtree Street.

8) The bike lost 100ml of oil a day just sitting in the driveway. I tried to contain the spill but it was a significant factor in getting kicked out of the house I was living at.

9) After tracing the leak to the clutch casing I shattered another bolt on the clutch plate. Trying to see what I did, I destroyed the new gasket.

10) I reassembled the clutch correctly to find I had introduced electrical gremlins while poking about for the oil leak.

11) The wiring under the seat. Oh god, I think the previous mechanic was Peter Griffin. I don't know how you could screw something up this much even if you tried. There are wiring splices that look like they were done with a Big Red wrapper, and horrifyingly there are three random wires that don't seem to go anywhere at all . . .

12) The bike isn't here right now. I just walked home from the parking lot I left it in. I'm a little pissed at her right now. She did the same thing - ran fine for 15 minutes and then decided that she'd stop responding to the throttle. 30 mph at full throttle in 5th gear is disconcerting on a 4-lane with cars coming behind you.

13) But I won't complain too much. The one time she didn't do something mechanically terrible I rode her to a party and snagged a sweet new Brazilian girlfriend.

 

Hope you have better luck with your Brazilian Beauty than you do with picking out motorcycles!
Just kidding.
Sounds like the previous owner(s) didn't leave you much to work with.
Good luck with all of it, Sir.

 

Where are the gf (and bike) pics? Or better yet her modelling on it.

 

Me and you must have the same upholstery guy...
Nothing like having to hand wash a good pair of jeans because you cant just wash out duct tape residue.

My bikes previous owner was a moron also...

 

At least my bikes PO used part of someones leather (I think) jacket......oh and carpet pad LOTS of carpet pad.

 

There's a lesson here for everyone who buys an old bike:

You can't just start riding it like it was a new bike; or like you'd start driving a used car. Different game altogether.

The only way; ONLY WAY to NOT be driven to the brink of violent frustration is to go through the thing first.

Get a shop manual, factory is better; aftermarket is OK.

Go through the "maintenence" section, procedure by procedure and step by step. In the process you disassemble, clean, inspect, repair, refurbish, or replace anything that's not 100% ready and able to do its job.

Once this process is complete, you'll have a safe, reliable old bike that you can actually use and count on for transportation.

The problem is not the bike; the problem is that you didn't/don't understand the difference between an old bike and an old car. You're quickly learning though.

Stop, back up, and do as I've outlined above. Take control of your "process" and put an end to the frustration. Until you do, the bike will continue to kick your butt.

 

You know, the reason most of us bought these xj's is because they were the cheapest bike on craigslist. You're just not going to buy a 300 or 400 dollar bike and expect it to perform like it was new. Not even an 800 or 1000 bike. Quit blaming the bike or the po's. What did you think you were getting?

Buy a manual and some basic hand tools and it's amazing what you can do.

 

It really doesn't matter if you paid $100 or $1000. The same stuff will need to be attended to, to properly "recommission" an old bike. And if not attended to beforehand will produce the "oh, what now" frustration.

Like I said, certain things HAVE TO be dealt with. It's the order in which you do them that's up to either you, or the bike. Right now the bike's in charge.

 

Bigfitz, I totally agree. Had I fully comprehended the difference between buying a used car and a used bike I would have spent the winter differently, going through EVERYTHING and not just waiting until it broke to examine it.

It has been a hell of a learning curve, but it has been very rewarding.

The Brazilian babe gets back in town Wednesday. You guys are so awesome and helpful I'll commission some photos just for y'all. Babe on bike.

 

per Micros comments. I spend a LOT of time on craigslist and something I've found is that original purchase price when new has quite a bit of effect on the final sale price used many years later. As such some of our XJ's and many other bikes had hinky sales issues back in the day so the KBB on them now reflects that. Pretty much any UJM over 700cc that got screwed by the tariff years is going to get you a bit more bike for your money.

Of course there are all the other usual factors with buying something that has been through 30 years of use, abuse, maintenance or lack thereof by someone you don't know from Adam. But that above just "feels" like a statistical trend. The quality of deals made vary widely but I seem to note a slight skewing in that direction.

Metabolic, Where are these parties? my bike always runs :lol: :wink:

 

The most often typed sentence on XJBikes.com:

 

And here it is again!!!!! Just purchased a maxim xj 550 and haven't even bothered to go out on the road with it. The PO was not intelligent, or didn't bother to do even the slightest research about the petcock because when I stopped by to take a look at it the petcock was left on the "Pri" position. He had a heck of a time getting it to run properly (I'm thinking its just flooded in the back of my mind) and just wanted to get rid of it.. I wind up taking it home with me for $250 cheaper than what he was asking $800. Not a bad deal I thought. Especially after putting it in the "On" position for a day and then I come out to the barn and fired it right up!

Tore into it tonight for the first time. Checked the basics right away. Valve clearances (7 of the 8 were tight). Also take a lookie at what I found in the airbox HAHAHAHA omg! "My bikes previous owner was a moron also..."

This is like redneck-times-ten.. why didn't they just purchase a d@^# air filter???

 

Gee, must be a neglected 550. What a surprise. Doesn't it feel good to be ahead of the game?

Dude, Markie found a filter made from a wad of pantyhose, IIRC, when he got ahold of his 600.

My white bike had a stock air filter; it was just full of corn kernels and various seeds the mice has been stashing in there. PO rode it to my house; jellied brake fluid, loose rear wheel and all.

I believe another member recently found an oil-soaked bag of pot in his airbox.

 

walk back to it, stab the seat a few times with a screwdriver.
you'll feel much better pushing it home with a screwdriver stuck in the seat

 

Metabolic,

That was one of the finest threads I've read in quite a while. You had me laughing from the moment I read that you had named your bike, and not only that, you had given it a beautiful woman's name! First mistake.....to personify a machine is to lend to it human qualities when in fact, it is a cold mass of rubber, plastic and metal.

It only works because of the laws of physics and no amount of "begging" will have any impact on it.

The fact that it provided you transportation to meet a truly beautiful woman, and I've been to Brazil, and they are ALL BEAUTIFUL, is more than enough reason to be thankful.

Now however, you need to get your act together and get that POS running correctly<LOL>!!!! If it were me, I'd sell it, buy a brand new bike so I could spend less time fixing said machine and more time with said Beautiful Woman!!!

ROTFLMAO
jeff

 

An oil soaked bag of pot?? Too bad Metabolic didn't buy that bike...he'd be feeling a whole lot different about his woes! LOL cue Dark Side of the Moon...

 

I too bought the "cheapest bike on craigslist", my PO had:
Stock jetting with Pods and a mac 4-1
Valves out of spec
One front spring was upside down
30 year old brake lines
Oil cooler that leaked more oil than it cooled

Lots of good info on here from the experts!